You have permission to get rid of the clothes that no longer fit or make you feel uncomfortable. You have permission to buy clothing in a bigger size so that you feel good in your clothes and you feel comfortable.
One of the uncomfortable, but healing things that may happen when you stop dieting is gaining weight.
Once you’ve ended a period of restricting food and, perhaps, over-exercising, your body’s size and shape may change.
As part of the healing work I’ve done (and am still doing) after years of dieting is to experiment with eating foods that I once considered off limits.
Sometimes it feels uncomfortable to eat foods that had been labeled as “bad” to me for so many years. But allowing myself to eat those foods has helped me to let go of the dieting mindset, feel less restricted, and reconnect with experiencing pleasure from eating.
Just the other day, I ordered a taco salad from a fast food Mexican restaurant and didn’t request that my salad come without the fried tortilla shell. My husband was surprised that I ordered my taco salad this way because in the past I avoided fried food (unless I was binge eating after a period of restriction, eating hangover food, or allowing myself a cheat day). That taco salad was delicious and satisfying, and didn’t come with any guilt or shame. I ate it and moved on.
The past couple of years have been filled with little moments like this. Allowing. Sometimes I discover foods that I didn’t realize I liked. Sometimes I realize that certain foods don’t make me feel great. Sometimes I eat something that was once off limits, and I realize I don’t care for it much. It’s all information I’m gathering as I let go of the dieting mindset I held onto for so many years.
For me, not restricting food has meant that my body has gotten bigger. I’m not sure how much weight I’ve gained since I stopped dieting because I haven’t weighed myself in a really long time (like, maybe two years?). But I can tell my body has changed because it looks different and many of my clothes no longer fit.
I admit, it was really uncomfortable to allow my body to expand. At first, I didn’t understand why I kept gaining weight. I guess I just thought that the smaller version of me, the one that was attained by restrictive eating and intense workouts, was what I was supposed to look like. I believed that I wasn’t supposed to be a curvy size 12-14. I even thought something was wrong with me for awhile, and got a blood test to make sure I didn’t have a thyroid issue. There were many moments when I thought about going back to dieting (and even did a few times…they were short-lived, of course).
For a long time, I held on to all of my clothes that were too small. I think there was a part of me that hoped that my body would settle back into a smaller size. But when I started to dig deep and ask myself why I desired a smaller body, I realized that I was still holding onto the belief that a thinner body is a more beautiful body. I still felt like my worth was attached to the size of my body.
As part of the work I’ve been doing to accept and respect my body as it is in this moment, feel more comfortable in my body, and allow myself to believe that I’m worthy regardless of my size, I’ve been transitioning my wardrobe.
One of the ways that we can feel better in our bodies and improve our body image is to wear clothes that feel comfortable and that fit.
So often, we hold onto the belief that changing our body will improve our body image and make us feel better about ourselves. But I’m here to tell you that going back to dieting, restricting food or watching what you eat isn’t going to work. It hasn’t worked before and it’s not going to work this time. Feeling better about ourselves has to come from within, not from external changes. There’s also the fact that 97% of people gain back the weight they lose (and more) within three years of dieting to lose weight.
Earlier this year, when I transitioned my winter closet and moved in all of my warmer weather clothes, I made a plan to finally let go of all of my smaller clothes.
In the past, I would have put clothes that didn’t fit back into my closet to use them as motivation to fit back into them. I would typically spend the entire season looking into my closet and feeling totally shitty about myself because my clothes didn’t fit.
This year, I tried on everything and set all the clothes that no longer fit aside. I got rid of most of them and kept a few that have sentimental value, but stored them away. The only clothes in my closet and dresser are clothes that actually fit. This is a step in respecting my body as it is now.
I also used this time of transition to tune into what I desire in my style. I think it’s important for our style to evolve as our lives change. I made a Pinterest board with style inspiration to get reconnected with how I want to feel and look in my clothes.
I then started a list of the clothes in two categories: needs and wants.
I used to buy clothing pretty mindlessly, buying something just because it was on sale or buying clothes that sort of fit. Now, I’ve been taking my time replenishing my closet with clothes in my current size.
Here are some of the things I’ve been doing to honor my body with new clothing and shop in a mindful way…
- I’ve been waiting for sales from brands that I really love that make sustainable and high quality clothing. Some of the clothing brands I love are Prana, Athleta, StitchFix (you can ask your stylist to choose sustainably-minded brands), H&M Conscious and Manduka. Lately, I’ve been looking at Everlane, Madewell and Levi’s. *I wear straight-sizes. Some of these brands may offer extended sizes.
- I’ve been purchasing simple staples that I can wear with many different outfits or wear for different occasions (like to yoga, to run errands, while hanging out at home or dressed up).
- I’ve been buying things that I can wear in multiple seasons.
- I’ve been selling my old clothes on PoshMark or at a local consignment store, and saving the money to use to buy new clothes. I haven’t bought any used clothing, but that’s an option I’ve considered. It’s an economical and environmentally-conscious option. I’ve looked through clothes at PoshMark and ThredUp a few times, but haven’t purchased anything.
Remember that your worth is not dependent on the size and shape of your body.
It’s OK if your body is bigger than it used to be. Sometimes listening to your body, honoring your hunger and trusting your body will cause you to gain weight. It did for me. When I stopped dieting, I gained weight AND I got healthier. And if you’ve gained weight for another reason, it’s also OK.
Weight loss is not the key to better health. The number on the scale and the tag on your clothing doesn’t tell you anything about your worth or value.
You have permission to get rid of the clothes that no longer fit or make you feel uncomfortable. You have permission to buy clothing in a bigger size so that you feel good in your clothes and you feel comfortable.
Ready to stop dieting and start making peace with food and your body? Download my free Anti-Diet Starter Guide.
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